No Touching! (I have a plan.. it's risky, but it might work)

Today as I was riding the bus to work- which aren't called "Da-bobs" by the way! I was wayy off on that one.. a man got on and did an extreme chair fake-out. He started to sit down on one of the fold-up chairs (at this time, I was leaning to the side letting my hair blown in the wind/trying to dry my perspiring brow from the open window) all of a sudden he tried to make an ill-chosen lunge to the back row of seats( as I'm kind of bopping my head about). We NAILED our heads together, just nailed them. He flopped down on the seats in agony, I cradled my head in my hands... but neither of us said anything. Everyon else continued to stare straight ahead. There was absolutely no acknowledgment that we had just bashed our faces together. I don't know, I guess that was perilously close to an innapropriate breach of social customs and heterosexual touching in public.
Later,
as I was walking to the office between classes, there was a large throng of exuberant teenage boys clogging the hallway. I decided to worm my way threw them. Right as i was passing throughwhat had previously been clear space, one of the boys stepped back gesticulating wildly- as he did so his hand ever so gently, and quite inadvertantly, brushed my buttocks. Everyone saw it. We had our backs to each other, and turned slowly, so slowly to face each other, our beet red faces the only acknowledgment of what had happened. Laughter ensued. I was giggling because i was super uncomfortable, they were all laughing uproariously because, hell yeah! someone got to touch the foreign girl's butt!

** please tell me that somebody, anybody, picked up on that Arrested Development quote in the title of this post!