As I’ve mentioned, throughout my life I have been plagued by sleeping problems- as a means of rectifying this problem I have taken to wearing a sleepy eye mask to bed. I’ve been wearing them for so long that I can’t even think about sleep without one. I’m addicted to my sleepy mask. My mask is personal, intrinsic to my sleep process, and utterly crucial. Please don’t touch it.
Usually when someone is idly lounging on my bed they start playing with my sleepy mask; stretching out the elastic, shooting it at people like a rubber band, or worst and by far most common of all, WEARING it- I don’t like that. I don’t like your face touching my face. Because of these trying situations I go through a fair amount of them. Plus without fail if I’m traveling I leave it tangled in the hotel sheets, or forgotten on various modes of transportation. Assuming it would be rather difficult to find the soothing, satiny sleepy masks that kiss my eyes closed at night and induce blessed, blissful slumber, I packed an entire years supply. In fact I packed quite an overabundance of them.
Much to my chagrin I pretty much instantly lost one upon arrival here. Okay, no problem I have MANY more. But I just kept losing them. Its not like I misplaced them- I didn’t wake up and accidently wear it around the apartment during my morning ritual and absentmindedly leave it in the kitchen. I actually LOST them. As in tore-the-house-apart looking, never-to-be-seen-again lost them. ALL OF THEM. I seriously don’t have a single one left. It BOGGLES MY MIND. My roommate and I have spent an excessive amount of time discussing this conundrum- where do they go?!?! I really just don’t get it. They are truly just not in the apartment anymore. I even did that thing were I looked in the least likely place it would ever be? Nope, not stuffed in the dirty, crawlspace between the refrigerator and the stove. They aren’t anywhere. Have I started sleepwalking in a heat-induced fog? Does a small animal come and spirit them away from my face in the middle of the night? What is going on?!? In one month I have lost a YEAR’S SUPPLY of sleepy masks. We have torn the house apart looking for them, I just cannot even fathom where they could be. Because my bedroom has EIGHT windows there is pretty much always a shining beacon of light straight into my eyes so a mask is crucial. Lately I have taken to tying a hijab around my face at night and waking up hours later, cloaked in my own sweat, suffocating on the voluminous fabric. It’s extremely perplexing.
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You may be forced to cut a hijab into small bits that tie more easily around your eyes. Better that than a heat induced state of sweat-soaked ....... whatever. I have 2 sleepy masks here that I never use (they bug me) and I would happily give them to you if I could quickly transport them to you. Oh, if only I found myself magically endowed and was able to shout , as one of the Disney characters did, "I can fly, I can fly, I can fly!". Alas, I find myself humanly stuck to the earth. Dammit!
ReplyDeleteyes that is weird. hi i'm athena. read your blog since i started reading my friend Ben's and he plugged you. you update more often. i really thought the story would end with you describing some thief come to capture all your sleepy masks. maybe you just havent caught him yet. well, bye!
ReplyDeleteHave you checked out all of Matt's pictures yet? I will confess that I have not but, I fully expect to see a picture of him and perhaps the Muhamads all wearing sleepy eye masks with their hands covering their mouths as they giggle.
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