Happy Easter everyone! Have I mentioned yet that Yemen is a Muslim country? Not so much with the Easter celebration here…I don’t know about you, but I find the complete and total lack of sugar-coma inducing Cadbury eggs, chocolate bunnies, jelly beans, and the fake plastic grass that you continue to find on your clothing for weeks after Easter a little disheartening. Where was the in-your-face bombardment of giant bunnies and chocolate explosions for the last month and a half? I did eat some Nutella spread out of a jar with a spoon though- clearly the day wasn’t a total loss!
My last few Easters have been slightly unorthodox. Here’s a little Easter rehash for you-
Five years ago- found me at a small, community wide barbeque on the beach of a miniscule Honduran island. They served barbequed iguana!
Four years ago- I went to the Sterrett’s house in Coopersburgh, Pennsylvania for family dinner with my softball team. We had a mini egg hunt, and I- thinking myself immensely clever- snagged the giant, ornamental, Russian egg that they had on their mantle and claimed myself ultimate egg hunt winner. Because hellooo surely this giant, wooden egg counts for at least 20 of those dinky plastic eggs, right? No one was particularly amused.
Three years ago- I found myself in Worcester, Massachusetts playing 1000 softball games against a religiously affiliated school on EASTER SUNDAY. I still find it wildly incongruous that we would play a religious school on the holiest of days… We spent the evening stuck in hotel and some of the parents, feeling fey, stashed some candy eggs around the small hotel courtyard for us to find. Hopped up on boredom and immaturity we all started racing around the courtyard snagging up eggs. I distinctly remember that there was one egg that somebody had hidden within the thorny confines of a fiercely spiky plant. I dashed up to it, instantly recognized the perils therein and moved on to greener pastures. So did a great number of my teammates. Not Flo. With nary a thought, she plunged her whole arm into the plant, yelped in agony and retracted her arm- she was bleeding profusely from several abrasions but by god, she had that extra mini- Reese’s pieces cup to show for it.
Two years ago we had a big dinner at the Sterretts in Pennsylvania again. And there transpired a TOTALLY UNFAIR EASTER EGG HUNT THAT SHENDAZE, PALMS AND I ARE STILL EXTREMELY BITTER ABOUT(and therefore cannot talk about without getting all riled up). In fact I found it so upsetting that I couldn't even repeat my funny wooden egg joke from two years previous which, clearly, was everbody's loss. After that we all went to Casa Mia for some Jager bombs. Mortal sin?
Last year- I was in Brooklyn, New York visiting my friend from High School, Ben. I spent the preponderance of Easter with a Honduran family THAT I DID NOT KNOW. I literally spent HOURS lugging furniture and boxes back and forth across Brooklyn for this family, and I can only rationalize their behavior in two ways- they either thought I was dating one of them, or they thought I worked for one of them. Either way it took hours for me to get away.
And Easter 2009- YEMEN!! WOO-HOOO! To celebrate life, my family made me tea and served a gelatinous, brown, sticky confection that tasted like toffee and looked like… something.. shall we say… unsavory.
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Clearly there has been a failure of Easter protocol at the highest levels. Alas, I fear it is too late to rectify. Normalcy may never return.
ReplyDeletemy favorite easter was the courtyard incident...and flos mangled arm...oh and the trips to the bar...that happened a few years in a row I believe...I was actually thinking about that sacrilege on Easter.
ReplyDeleteworst easter...clearly the one aforementioned in which our team got screwed...I almost just elaborated but found that it was far too upsetting...now I'm just straight up pissed about it and will be angry for the rest of the day as I recall that flagrant violation of trust and rule abiding that all of our teammates committed on that fateful day.