D-WORD

HELL AND DAMNATION!
My boss just told me to go ahead and renew my apartment lease- further indicating that I’m not going to transfer anytime soon. Alright, alright.

A blender is the quintessential cooking apparatus here in Yemen. An incredible amount of Yemeni dishes involve the blender( juice, chutney, sauces, vegetable mush, etc) and I have been coveting one for quite some time, the caveat being that they are EXPENSIVE. Even by American standards they are pricey. Plus I’ve been trying to eschew my little tendency of acquiring an astounding array of needless possessions. I have been hesitant to buy a bunch of stuff because I want to remain mobile, I don’t want to get too sedentary and ensconced in Adenee life so that I won’t get transferred. I have one singular pot in my kitchen…But now that I’ll be here for sure for another couple of -months at least, I decided to buck up and get myself a glorious prize. Really it came down to the fact that I was super dehydrated while in a store that sold blenders. Blenders made me think of fresh juices and smoothies and milkshakes, the resulting images in my mind pushing me into a buying frenzy.

But first let me say this- fruit juice stalls here are AMAZING, super unhygienic, patronized by dirty men, but delicious. They make the juice right in front of you- sometimes with additives from a recycled soda bottle filled with murky and mysterious contents- but they use the whole piece of fruit. I’ve seen it over again, they’ll fling an entire orange - rind and all into the blender, add a little sugar, a little water, strain it and voila! Sweet, sweet nectar. Seemingly uncomplicated, right? Well let me tell you, it’s not. I followed that exact procedure and wound up with a chunky, bitter, mush the consistency of oatmeal. It tasted acidic and harsh, I gagged and spit it up. Okay fine, I will continue to buy my orange juice. I dumped it out, the rind pieces clogging my drain. Next I decided to make a strawberry banana smoothie. Nice! I found some frozen strawberries at the market and was super pumped to have them. The smoothie came out frothy and deliciously pink looking- there’s something about pink foods that really make me want to eat them. If you saw a giant pink-frosted cookie and a giant blue frosted cookie, wouldn’t you go for the pink one every time? I took the blender off of the base with a dexterous twisting motion and lifted the pitcher. Great except that I somehow managed to remove only the shell of the pitcher (I don’t even know how I did that!) the base falling away dousing my floor and body in the sticky goodness. Okay blender, strike two. I’m currently on a blender time-out, which really is the only thing keeping me from drop-kicking it across the room.


*ADDENDUM*

I almost forgot the best –or worst- part! In an incredible design flaw that’s perpetuated throughout the whole apartment, the kitchen doesn’t have any electrical outlets. There is one in my bedroom conveniently located behind a big, built-in wooden vanity and one in the living room halfway up the wall. To further complicate matters the cord for my fancy-pants new blender isn’t long enough to reach the floor so the whole time I’m trying to make a delicious beverage I’m standing in the middle of the LIVING room, holding the machine in my arms, just blending some fruit. Absurd.