Girl scouts honor this happened

I caught the bus yesterday to go to the Lebanese International University to find out about Arabic lessons. I was meeting my friend Muhammad and his two friends (ironically, or perhaps not so ironic in Yemen, both also named Muhammad). I became so engrossed in my thoughts that I blew past my stop and had to hoof it back several blocks. As I was walking along the road (a very busy road with limited sidewalk options) I saw a rooster up ahead- I had seen this rooster previously several times; he was remarkably handsome, pure white with red accents. He looked stalwart, healthy, and proud. Every time I saw him (always whizzing by on a bus) he was in the same spot- clearly his turf- and this was to be the first time I passed him on foot.
As I approached he was pecking and clucking along, guarding his brood of hens and then he saw me! Instantly you could tell he meant business (He was clearly in a fowl mood, Hah! See what I did there?!?) Across the expanse of pavement we made and maintained a fierce, burning eye-contact, his eyes malevolently challenging me- “I will eat you alive, bitch” and I thinking “what’s more dignified? Risking life and limb to dash across 8 screaming lanes of traffic to avoid a small bird or being mauled by a malicious rooster?” but then I remembered I’m a Hanley girl! Hanley girls are NOT deterred by mere poultry. Resolutely I marched forward. Warily I gave him a wide birth, he followed me with his steely gaze the whole time and then I was past him! Great success! But wait! Now he was following me, slowly at first, maintaining pace with my even stride. But then he started walking faster, and faster, and then he was RUNNING BEHIND ME! At this point, dignity be damned, I too am running. Just running away down the streets of Yemen being chased by a riled-up rooster. By now we are in a full blown chase and have progressed well beyond his territory, what does he want from me?! He’s gaining…gaining…and then PECKING! PECKING AT MY TOES! Now we have both stopped running and I am leaping, and kicking, and jumping, and skipping away from his beak. And then just like that, he was done. Game over. I whirled toward the street, astounded, flabbergasted, “DID ANYONE SEE THAT?” I shouted, “HELLO YEMENIS, DID ANYONE JUST SEE THAT ROOSTER ATTACK ME? WHAT WAS THAT?!?” but I got nothing. No reaction, no one cared. Just another silly American. And all that was left for me to do was pull myself together and move on. Of all the indignities.

Wholly Irrational

As people ask about my upcoming adventure, I often get asked about the spider situation. That is the one topic of information I’m actively avoiding. Giant snakes? Cool. Scorpion on my pillow? Been there, done that. Cockroaches? Whatever. Spiders? HELL NO.
Had anyone told me previous to my trips to Honduras that there would be tarantulas there, it might have given me pause. I will be constantly vigilant, and non-confrontational. They shouldn’t come near me, and I will try and get the locals to kill them but otherwise steer clear. Fine, truce. But had I known that one bright, sunny day I would be innocently writing in my notebook and casually glance down to find a GIANT TARANTUALA NESTLED ON MY SHOULDER I never would have gone. I would have sequestered myself into a hermetically sealed room and never stirred from there again. No joke.
How did this great fear start, you ask. Because its not only that I don’t like them, it’s that I’m so shaking-and-crying-when-I-see-one, deathly afraid of them. Perhaps I have always been afraid of spiders, of that I cannot be certain. What I CAN be certain of however is that as a young child of six or seven I found myself one day, sick in bed. My father in a well-intentioned act, proceeded to rent his beloved daughter a movie. He rented “Arachnophobia” HE THOUGHT I WOULD THINK IT WAS COOL. Well let me tell you. It wasn’t. In fact it was, quite truly, the single most terrifying 2 hours of my life. For years and years I have been plagued by a reoccurring dream about cunning and malicious spiders who stalk my family and then kill my sister (sorry Kallyn, it’s always you). So I just don’t want to know about the spider situation in Yemen, I just don’t want to know about it because if I did, I honestly might not be capable of going. One horrific day in the none to distant future I will find out first hand. Until then, I remain gratefully, blissfully ignorant.